Guests Who Ghost

Imagine this…you are going on a date with that person that you have had a crush on for the longest time. The two of you have set a date that is a few weeks away, giving you ample time to prepare for this outing, of which it will be your treat.

You take your time to research for the perfect restaurant. You personally go in and reserve the best table with a view over the beautiful lake that sparkles when the twinkling stars reflect on its surface. Adding even more to the ambiance, the moon is set to be full that night, with its glowing hue creating a picturesque backdrop.

Before you splurge on a new outfit, you ensure to call and reconfirm that the date is indeed still on, and you are met with an emphatic, “Yes, and I cannot wait to see you!”

The days move by so slowly, but the big day finally arrives.You are so organised and know your crush’s favourite food, so you plan and pre-order the most decadent meal you can imagine. You think of it all - the canapes, main meal and the perfect dessert.

After dinner, you plan a private boat trip on the lake to end the outing on an unforgettable note. Then horror happens… you are stood up. No phone call to cancel and no message to notify you - just a “no show.”

This scenario, dramatic as it may be, is the exact representation of what people go through when they invite guests to occasions like their weddings or noteworthy celebrations. Guests are not “crushes,” but they are very important. A lot of time, effort, emotions and money are invested so they can share in these special moments.

Invitations, place settings, meals and so much more are involved in planning the big occasion, and these are significant costs to the host. We never think about it, but it is a fact. Planners, venues, the furniture, equipment, food and drinks are all charged according to the number of guests.

The current trend is to have personalised place settings which takes time, effort and cost to execute. All of this means that the hosts have taken the time to research the perfect location, pre-ordered the perfect meal, ensured that there is select entertainment and bought the perfect outfit, for this big day they are sharing with you, and then you choose to just not show up, without notification. It's devastating to the hosts, and it is in poor taste. It comes at a great cost and can even alter relationships.

For the most part, a guest receives an invite because the hosts hold you in high regard, only for you to not show up, which is bad social etiquette.

RSVP – Respondez S’il Vous Plait is French which simply means “Please Respond” to something that is very important. However, it tends to get overlooked. To RSVP is to show RESPECT.

Today, a minimum cost per guest - for a wedding in particular - from the invitation to the execution of the event costs around USD80 per person, and is trending upwards. This means that when people just do not show up, money is wasted, which could have been allocated somewhere else or saved.

Over time, many people have moved away from having big occasions and pivoted to intimate events with their nearest and dearest whom they know - or at least hope - will make the effort to show up, share in the moment with love and take to heart the effort put into the big day.